out the open door

leaning forward, She touches Her hand to Her cheek—She is tired

life looms over Her head, yet She doesn’t see—

She mourns for what She doesn’t know, what She can’t feel, and what She will never see

a cautious twirl of Her hair moves the air within the room

drives me to act, yet the gale sends me cowering back into my chair.

where has Her smile gone? 

the same smile that stirred my heart, stole my mind, tore my soul

is gone

            sacrificed to the eight hour work day

                                                                        to living as a student

                                                                                                            to another man

why can’t it be me?

but I know.  I know what I have done.  What I have brought into being. 

these events are of my own forging.


the sunlight crown moves again, rending me from  Her image

sending me back to earth

                                        back to Her memories

of dancing, laughing, joking, smiling, living, loving

a perfect moment with no one else in the room-

but perfection can’t survive in the reality of a high school dance

where one night turns into another

            another becomes a dream

                        a dream that closes the doors to my heart

for that week—
that single day—           the only hour—

one minute—

a solitary second hidden somewhere

so I could shatter Her dreams

and I did


Her feet draw Her through the open door, but I can’t weep—

            my tears have been closed off for some unfortunate time.

She turns!

                surely for one last look at what broke both of our hearts,

the pitiful creature living in his own desolate dreams—

to come back to me, to love me!

            we could be happy, She would once more smile

                        every moment could last forever in Her arms

Her lips curl up as She hesitantly takes a single solid step towards my waiting heart

then another, faster!

another and another and another—until She is almost within my embrace once more;

my heart Soars

                        as She grabs Her backpack

                                                                  floating once more out the open door

into his arms

© Tofer Carlson 2011